My experience with a liar...

Part 5.... Lawyers, motive and more

When he first got caught presenting two different personalities to two different women, Drew had told Paige "it's just sex with Jess". But that was before she read our texts on his phone and she saw the plethora of "I love you" texts and all the written negotiations surrounding our relationship. After she caught him in umpteen lies, Drew made a last ditch effort to make her believe he had really chosen her.

Drew told Paige he was dissatisfied with our relationship and that was what ultimately drove him into choosing a life with her. Not that circumstances left him with really only two options, try to get Paige back, or start over with a new mark.

She told me about this particular justification of his bad behavior in my car on the day Paige and I met.

I had to admit, it was a solid effort at covering his womanizing and to make her feel like she truly was a choice.

As if he had a choice when one of us had just held a gun to his balls and asked him to never come back.

Sweet, faithful Paige didn’t know how many times I had given Drew the opportunity to state his dissatisfaction and change or end our relationship. Instead he smiled, looked deep into my eyes, said he loved me and he wouldn’t change a thing about us.

It was a brilliant save by Drew, really. No one could dispute his feelings of dissatisfaction. No one could claim to be inside his little pea brain. He may have even enlisted a friend or two to lie for him to assure Paige that he had confided in them about it.

Sure, he could have been unhappy in our arrangement - I'm not arrogant enough to think that's not a possibility.

But IF that was the truth, spineless Drew never once had the balls to even hint that he'd change a thing. And that is a huge red flag.

It illustrates that he doesn't have the capacity for truth when it's important or might produce conflict - which tends to happen in even the healthiest of relationships.

Drew is too much of a people pleaser and compulsive liar for the kind of honesty needed to become a more authentic person. He cares too much about what people think about him to be authentic.

If Drew was incapable of telling me he was dissatisfied when he was in an open relationship - what makes her believe he has the capacity to be honest with her when he's forced to be monogamous?

We all want to believe we can tame the beast inside someone.

We all want to believe we have that special power to make someone change with our love.

The compulsive liar inside Drew still lives. He's desperate to show Paige he's a better guy than the first three months of lies made him out to be. And while he may be satisfied at the moment with his new role as step dad and family man, what will happen in a few years when he hasn't had his threesomes, and she's still going through his phone because she knows he can't always be honest.

Paige told me she's baited him for threesomes and he hasn't fallen for it. Of course he hasn't fallen for it when he's just been caught and hung for lying and cheating. He's trying hard to play the role of monogamist for her.

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It isn't hard to convince somebody you love them if you know exactly what they want to hear.

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Con artists play to emotions, not intelligence. “People who are going through times of extreme life change, for instance, are very vulnerable to con artists because you lose your equilibrium."

The most successful cons hinge on desire—what can the con artist offer the victim that will make them abandon rational thought for the promise of fantasy? The best way to discover someone’s desires: Ask. “Victims don’t ask a lot of questions; they answer a lot of questions."

Paige should get used to asking a lot of questions. All the time.

Ask for proof. Of everything. (And check his Reddit communities, Tumblr history and shared notes frequently too.)

An honest person will provide proof without hesitation. They have nothing to hide.

A liar will try to guilt you out of your question and ask why don't you trust them. They'll turn to gaslighting and convincing.

My heart hurts for Paige - it can't be easy to choose to be with someone you feel you have to keep tabs on, check their phone, and try to catch cheating on you. You have to ask yourself, is someone who is a compulsive liar and people pleaser able to turn into an honest person with the capacity for healthy conflict in just a few short months? Not without spending a fortune on therapy.

Paige, of course, has faith in him. She's told me that they're in love, that he's so good to her daughter, her family and that while it's hard to know she fell for a guy with a shady past, their values are aligned. How can you know someone’s values when they spent the first three months of your relationship lying to you?

You have to watch someone live for a LONG period of time before you see their real values in action.

I had been with him a year - what I learned about his values during that brief time is that Drew does not value honesty. He values a good time and being seen as a good man (not actually being one), no matter what.

He's told Paige he's hired 2 lawyers to 'squash me' and to get this site taken down. Likely more lies.

Maybe he talked to a lawyer, but he sure as hell didn't spend any money on one once they told him how tough defamation cases are. He's now just hoping the threat of lawyers changes my direction.

If he did talk to any decent lawyers, they likely told him the same thing my lawyer told me.

He has to have proof that I am lying about his behavior for a solid defamation lawsuit. And he knows I'm not.

A lawsuit also means that his world will get torn apart. His parents would find out everything he's done to both of us.

More importantly, a lawsuit means Paige's family will find out about their rocky start and all the things he lied to her about. They'll see how he put her sexual health at risk, lied about his herpes diagnosis, his sexual history and disrespected her for months. After hearing the whole story, they'll know everything he said was said in desperation in order to win her back. They'll figure out that he is continuing to try impress her with affirmations of the most unique and special love, promises of vacations, boat trips and dream cars to keep her from seeing what he really is, an opportunistic con-artist.

I'd love nothing more than to read this story and all our corresponding texts between Drew and me and me and Paige aloud from the stand as all of our families and friends listen to his many lies come to life.

They'd read all our text messages straight from the server (he can't delete those) in a court room full of people that he doesn't want knowing about his proclivity for the swinger life. Nor does he want them to know about his many sexual exploits, his bisexuality, his using and emotionally abusing women, and he doesn't want Paige's family to question his quick as fuck shift from child-free swinger to monogamous step dad.

His exes would be called in as character witnesses. A lifetime of lies would be laid out in front of Paige, and he does not want her to see who he really is.

A lawsuit might also reveal his motives.

“There’s always gotta be something more in it for Drew,” his friends had said.

They knew his greedy and impulsive ways.

Then it hit me - Drew values sex, status and money more than anything.

Drew was obsessed with sex, which he got with me in copious amounts. But there was also opportunity for money and a life of comfort with me. Since October 2021 when my mom got diagnosed with ovarian cancer, Drew knew that she was involved in a lawsuit against Johnson & Johnson. If she won, she could get seven figures.

He asked about it often, and I never thought twice about it. I just thought he was being a supportive partner.

By July 2022, when Drew was caught living his double life, we still didn’t know the outcome of my mother's cancer lawsuit.

Was Drew keeping me around in case I soon had access to seven figures? Even if he was dissatisfied with our relationship, he was obviously planning to keep both me and Paige around or he would have ended things with me before his 4th of July trip to Nashville. Was his plan all along to wait and see who gave him the bigger pay out?

We may never know. But we do know Drew is embarrassed about being the son of a carpenter.

He's insecure about his lack of family status or money. He uses things like boats to build his status. He has ingratiated himself with wealthy friends that make him feel better about himself. He has surrounded himself with "opportunities".

It didn’t take me long after meeting Paige to figure out that she also presented a life of opportunities. Thanks to social media and people's desire to post their personal lives and successes for all to see, I learned that Paige's family owned restaurants, one of which was an upscale steakhouse and event space outside Nashville. I'm sure it only took Drew a day or two after meeting her to discover the same information - and another mark was made.

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How do you stop a con from happening when you can see it coming a mile away?

You take away access to the con-artist's payout.

Since last speaking with Paige when she told me about his lawyers, a package was sent to the steakhouse sharing what evidence I had gathered against Drew and I shared the address to this site, a warning of its graphic nature, and a note that said, "You don't have to believe all of this, but you can take steps to protect your legacy."

It's in their hands now.

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If anything good comes out of this, for Paige's sake, I hope that Drew has learned his lesson about lying. I can only hope he now understands the repercussions his dishonesty can have on his relationships.

Hopefully he has also learned that he is not above being called out for his lies, abuse and his bullshit.

If he becomes a better liar because of all this - I have only failed her.

If he becomes more genuine, gains a capacity to have difficult conversations and thinks twice before he tries to cover his ass with a lie - then I have left the world just a little better.

Raising good men is hard these days, and it takes a village to raise an idiot.

His parents couldn’t instill honesty and integrity in him in the first twenty six years, but maybe holding a gun to a liar's balls and telling his friends and potential future family about it can make all the difference.